i dream beck hansen kisses me

lovely dream:
sitting in a movie theatre seat in the darkness. beck hansen is seated behind me. i roll my head backwards and his luminous face crosses mine as he he leans forward to french kiss my mouth from upside down. the feeling had the same feeling as listening to wave.

it was a wonderful dream, given the utter direness of waking days.



i never think about a crush on beck, whereas i most frequently think about crushes on steve sady or keith fink.

or some straight girl.

but after a dream like that, i guess it's safe to say, i must have some crush on beck.

it's more like also, his energy, gentle energy being exactly what i've needed lately.

i woke one morning in March realizing i couldn't get away without having Morning Phase. Beck sort of sang me to my father's death, no small task.

Beck sang me through January too, a repeat of confused bits of Sea Change buzzing in my brain, on repeat.

i was sung to sleep by my sweet niece singing songs of her father's mysterious death over the astoria megler bridge.

after i sang her my jazziest ever "my heart belongs to daddy."