Jeff Daly's search for his institutionalized sister Molly changed his life and Oregon law
Jeff Daly's search for his institutionalized sister Molly changed his life and Oregon law
View full sizeJeff Daly "ho-ho-hos" his way around the room, always ending up near his sister, Molly, in green. Also enjoying Santa's visit is Rosie Newman, at left. In 2004, Jeff found his sister in a group home in Hillsboro after being separated when he was 6 years old and Molly was 2. Jeff and his wife, Cindy, visited Molly at Community Services, Inc. and helped Molly and her friends celebrate the season.HILLSBORO --When Jeff Daly went searching for his forgotten sister, Molly, he hoped to rekindle a relationship and banish the guilt of never knowing his baby sister. He never thought his search would lead to a life mission.
Six years, one
and thousands of phone calls, e-mails and business trips later, Jeff Daly and his wife, Cindy, have become the driving force behind a generation's search for thousands of sisters, brothers, aunts and cousins who disappeared into America's mental institutions decades ago.
Daly's quest to find his sister, who was sent to Fairview Hospital and Training Center in Salem when she was just 2 years old and Jeff was almost 6, didn't begin until decades later.
To Jeff, Molly had simply disappeared from his family's Astoria home. His parents didn't talk about her, and he was told not to, either. He forgot Molly until a former classmate, Cindy Thompson, asked about Molly during a high school reunion.
The two later married, and Cindy urged Jeff to find his sister. It wasn't until 2004, after Jeff's parents died, that he felt comfortable seeking her out.
View full sizeJeff and Molly as young children, before Molly was sent away to Fairview Hospital and Training Center in Salem.Hours after Jeff's father died, he and Cindy found proof that Molly was alive: a file of correspondence from Fairview and other facilities, tucked away at the back of a filing cabinet in a closet next to the water heater.
They began making calls. Within 24 hours, Jeff located his baby sister -- by then a 49-year-old woman -- in a Hillsboro group home. Now, they visit Molly regularly. They're making up for lost time.
"We go swimming, take her to see a horse ranch -- we try to bring experiences to Molly that she missed with Jeff," Cindy said.
Jeff and Cindy Daly's search was relatively easy. They had access to family records, and Cindy encountered a softhearted caretaker who fudged the group home's rules to reveal Molly's whereabouts. But the experience of finding Molly opened their eyes to Oregon's prohibitive privacy laws.
"The privacy laws became barriers to people reconnecting if they wanted to," said Bill Lynch, executive director of the
.
When parents sent children to institutions in the 1950s and '60s, they signed guardianship over to the state. The institutions began shutting down in the late 1980s and residents were often moved to group homes across Oregon and other states without their families' knowledge.
If families wanted to find their lost loved ones, those brothers and sisters were often told they had no legal right to know their siblings' whereabouts, said Marcie Ingledue, director of
, an advocacy group for the developmentally disabled.
View full sizeJeff Daly takes a short breather after taking off his Santa costume during a visit with his sister, Molly. Jeff and his wife, Cindy, helped change Oregon law to help families find relatives who had been institutionalized."Families didn't know what happened to their siblings," Ingledue said.
Six years later, the Dalys have become an internationally known resource for families facing the same challenges. They were driving forces behind a 2006 revision of Oregon law that established a process for families to seek out relatives who had been institutionalized.
They created a documentary,
and told their story to everyone from
magazine to
. With each story, they were flooded with correspondence from people who wanted to find their family's "Molly."
"We began immediately to get calls from people," Cindy Daly said.
The first of those was Jeff West of Tigard. West saw Jeff and Cindy's story on a local news broadcast and contacted the Dalys. He wanted to find his older brother, Ricky, who had been institutionalized when Jeff was about 3 years old.
"When I'd go out to get the mail, I'd bring it in and, commonly, there'd be a letter from Salem -- from Fairview hospital," he said.
The Dalys helped Jeff take the "back door" to find his brother, Richard, who was living in a group home in Baker City.
With his parents' blessing, Jeff West organized a family reunion. Now, the family sees Richard, 53, whenever they can. Although Richard can't talk to express his feelings, Jeff West says his brother knows they're family. Richard whistles with joy when they visit.
"He doesn't like people touching him. They believe it's because he's ultra-sensitive to everything," Jeff said. "But we sat at a table and I put out my hand, and he took my hand."
View full sizeCindy Daly helps her sister-in-law Molly put on the gloves Molly has just received as a Christmas present. Cindy and Jeff Daly created a documentary entitled, "Where's Molly?" on their search for Jeff's sister.Jeff and Cindy Daly have helped at least 40 other families find their loved ones. After helping to change Oregon's law, the pair began influencing other states. First came Alabama, then Florida, then New York, and the list kept growing. To date, Cindy Daly said, at least 14 states have revised their policies.
The Dalys have worked with
to create an online meeting place for families and developmentally disabled individuals to register their whereabouts and reconnect. The database,
, now contains more than 700 names and has led to several reunions.
Jeff and Cindy are retired, but their days typically start before 6 a.m. as they perform the full-time job of national advocates. They're also in talks for a book and movie deal about their experience.
In the midst of it all, Molly remains their central concern.
On a cold, sunny day last week in Hillsboro, Jeff and Molly participated in one of many new family traditions. Dressed as Santa Claus, Jeff visited Molly's Hillsboro "workplace" for a holiday party for the workers. He's done this every year for the past five.
As a bearded, merry Jeff bellowed, "Ho, ho, ho!" and distributed gifts to Molly and her friends, Molly clapped, grinned and fiddled with the new gloves and hat "Santa" gave her.
"Our story gives people an opportunity to say, 'You've laid yourself out, I'm gonna do the same thing. I'm going to find my relative,'" Jeff Daly said.
"Sometimes you have to be pushed a little bit, and our story can do that for folks."
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