alcoholics anonymous is not an anti-homeless hate organization
despite what wildly divergent approaches may be taking place in your community.
perhaps i envy the children who were dragged to AA, and witnessed all the toxic AA behavior, overdosed on it, and are completely free of the compulsion to go to AA meetings.
when the Lifeboat organization shut down from december 16 2023 until february 13 2024, it was all the more painful that NOT ONLY were all the people excluded from Lifeboat denied shelter, meals, etc suddenly with no warning, but also the people capable of playing the kissing up to osarch game, never complaining, etc. starving cold wet and hungry.
so as the aspiring night shelter basement--- poured tax money into renovating the poorly suited architecture to remake it as a basement bunk bed congregate dorm, the homeless were colder, wetter, hungrier, and dirtier than ever.
of course the astoria warming center was closed after the dwayne blair stabbing in february 2023----so that standby was gone, obliterated thru mismanagement and osarch's sleazy power grab.
low and behold standing around the drug-den atmosphere of Lifeboat ignited in me a desire to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, despite my experience of toxic anger, creepy mac-daddies, etc, along with the delightful people that come in the whole smorgasbord of AA.
i, unfortunately, took AA at its word, that carrying the message to the alcoholic who still suffers, and the only requirement is the desire to stop drinking, and wanted to share the contagious prosperity of people working on their lives, with my more down and out friends.
one particularly gruesome february 2024 i stayed late to clean the church in preparation for the potluck, thrilled that community and sobriety would prosper over the low barrier drug den atmosphere promulgated by lifeboat.
one particularly foul man took great offense at the down and outs.
took to stalking me outside the courthouse, the harbor, and my normal meeting ---begging me to come to his showdown of a business meeting, which he framed as a sort of nurmeberg trial to execute the homeless advocate (WITCH), and clarify his antihomeless rage he repeatedly expressed by using the offensive term "BUMRUSH" to describe homeless people eating.
he and his stepford wives talked about fairy tales where the homeless just needed to go back to imaginary shelters, closed down shelters, discriminatory shelters, etc and stay away form AA.
eventually the Leo in the room stood up and said STFU and FU to Mr. Bigot.
after i had done it more diplomatically, but with great challenge.
streams of traumatized people poured outside unable to palate the toxic classism.
i pointed out Mr. Bigot had threatened to "kick your ass" to a man of a socioecomic class he felt entitled to abuse at the recent sunday meeting.
this great challenge to his ultimate authority to use AA as the platform for his antihomless bigotry or rage--or portland trauma--melted in the utter hypocrisy of his theory the homeless are a safety threat, as they arent the ones threatening violence largely.
so i got my head bitten off by one of Mr. Bigot's acolytes recently, over a similar subject.
three potlucks ago, Mr. Bigot allowed me to deliver potluck leftovers to the homeless, only if i make sure they are instructed they are NOT WELCOME AT AA, which is not the purpose of AA.
\as he belabored his hateful message to me, as if to punish me for caring about the poor, his wife came to COME AND GET HER MAN>
but due to this escalating rage and classism problem, i suggested we needed a specific, street AA program, so the bourgeois can feel safe a their "country club AA" talking about their many houses, cars, vacations, manicures, etc without the pitifully unwashed poor in their midst to be heeped with scorn if not outright cruelty and discrimination.
my challenge to Mr. Bigot involved approaching his "tribunal" table, sitting at it a few seats down, to hold space for his opposition.
the leo at the other side, stood up, and had a mental health crisis and criminal incident a few days later, which i associate with the toxicity of this fated meeting i dubbed WWIII.
at which point, if AA does more harm, than good, may it be firmly noted, to stay away.
i position myself as the advocate against the petty small-minded excluders, and pompous judgmental types, who cruelly weigh in on others peoples subjective authenticity.
while i naively assumed we were all very kind and open minded, i now sympathize with the people burned by the megalomanias that confuse their own bigotry with AA, and use AA as a vehicle for hate.
i personally have negotiate3d to absolve trespasses and negotiate against abuse of trespass as well as the other micragressions used to haze newcomers.
as a near masonic 20th century fraternity, often happening in churches rooted in misogyny and racism, it is a lot to ask anyone to accept a new better way could emerge.
if i should burn out, i know which meetings to avoid because of abusers.
i know to walk out.
i dont think it has to be this way, and i write this to let people inflicted with harm at AA, to know, i hear you, i feel you, #MeToo.
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